RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

Do you also have the idea that you are just ‘not lucky in love’ and ‘always go for the wrong one’? You probably think that this is determined. Nothing could be further from the truth! You are the common denominator in all your (difficult or failed) relationships and it could be that it has something to do with you. It is definitely worth exploring as it also opens up possibilities. Think about it what has to do with you, you control and should be able to change…

‘Going for the wrong one’ and ‘not being lucky in love’.
You have the idea that you are just ‘not lucky in love’ and ‘always go for the wrong one’. No matter what you do, you always end up with the same kind of partner. For example someone who is; selfish, unreliable, who lies and cheats, pays little attention to you, is jealous, stingy, spend loads of money, cheats on you, hits you or has an addiction to something, etc. Sometimes you deliberately picked a partner who was the exact opposite of ‘the other’ and you still end up in the same situation. You always pick the wrong one and are just not lucky in love.

Looking for Mister (or Miss) right and often being on your own
Maybe you are someone who is always looking for Mister of Miss right and between short term relationships are always on your own. You and looking for Mister or Miss Right? Not really, but in the meantime... You always keep your eyes peeled, looking for a particular person in the crowd. You know… that special one.

Relationship patterns
If you can be honest with yourself and recognise yourself in one of the descriptions or something similar, it is more than likely that you are in some kind of relationship pattern.
Like it or not. There’s a big chance that, even if you do realise this, you don’t know if you can break this strong pattern and yet alone how. One thing is for sure ‘being in this pattern will not make you happy’. You would like to be, but ‘you’re just unlucky in love’…

Common denominator
Perhaps you think, like so many others, it is determined who you find attractive and go for. That it is in your genes or something. You tell yourself regularly ‘I fancy … (a particular type of person) ’as if it is a given fact and there is nothing or little you can do about it. Nothing could be further from the truth. The common denominator in all your (previous) relations is you and so it might have something to do with you. I admit, the thought that it might be you and not the (impossible ex) partner takes a bit to get use to. You are part of the attraction… It is definitely worth exploring as it also offers possibilities! As what has to do with you, you control and should be able to change. If only you knew how...

If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will get what you always got.
Something in you (perhaps subconsciously) makes you repeat the pattern over and over again. No matter how hard you try to do it better (or differently) next time. Despite this history keeps repeating itself. To get a different kind of partner, something really needs to change! Because if you keep on doing what you always did, you will get what you always got. If you only knew what that ‘it’ is, you could do something about it. This doesn’t mean you  need to change your character, just that particular thing that apparently seems to be crucial for a more fortunate choice of partner in the future. In other words change the attraction. That all sounds relatively easy but isn’t quite that simple as it something so deep rooted within yourself. Looking back on your love life it is likely to become clear to you just how deep. You were not or hardly able to break the pattern yourself. You could do with a bit of help.         

Getting a nice and long lasting relationship
Imagine how it would be; no longer ‘being unlucky in love’ but going for someone with whom you could have a long lasting caring relationship with. Someone who treats you right and with whom you could be very happy. But first you need to find out what makes that you are in a relationship pattern and more importantly how you break this pattern. COACHplus can help you with this. 

Breaking the relationship pattern
Together we will look at the relationship pattern you are in, what causes it and most importantly how you can break with the pattern. Breaking with it gives you the change to find a (nicer and better) partner or in your present relationship change things likely for the better. Fact remains that ‘if you keep on thinking what you always have thought (I am unlucky in love), keep on doing what you have always done (getting into a relationship with this person or keep longing for a relationship), you will always get what you always got (the same kind of partner or no partner at all which keeps bringing you down). Perhaps it is about time to (have someone) take a close look at yourself and your behaviour regards to (potential) partners and to break the relationship pattern otherwise history will keep repeating itself. You often hear ‘Happiness is a choice’ and the choice is yours!

top